How to find your joy again


How can you be happy when you always feel sad?

I’m typically happy. I’m self-assured and I’ve lived a pretty good life. I’ve gone through some things and seen some things. I know that this too shall pass and a lot can be healed with time, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a little fresh air.

With Depression, I fell into a sea of blackness. I floated there in dark stillness. I felt isolated and alone in a meaningless world. For the first time in my life, I felt a deep sense of nothingness. I felt like I was stuck and nothing I tried to do would change my life situation. I wasn’t just low, unhappy, or sad for a day, I experienced months of serious sadness. When I look back at my photos during this time, I still see smiles on my face. There were still so many moments of happiness. When I reflect on my real feelings underneath it all, underneath the smile, underneath the every day, I was at the end of my rope and I didn’t really want to be here, in my life anymore. So I disappeared the feelings inside and acted like everything was ok, but I definitely was NOT ok. (If you watched Maid ((one of the best shows on Netflix)), the scenes of her laying in the dark hole or sinking completely into the couch resonate with me)

Definitions of Depression

Check if this post if you are trying to figure out what depression really means.

The Things I Lost With Depression

How I found my joy again

I had a go on a journey to find my joy again. Inside and out. Honestly, I didn’t know how blessed I was to have true happiness and lightness in my heart on a regular basis. I no longer take my joy for granted. Protecting my peace is serious a life goal and not just a phrase I say to get an amen. So, if you working through a time of confusion or sadness, I want you to know even the happiest of happy people like me can fall into a hole of sorrow. It’s normal and your feelings are valid. Tell those you trust and seek help. But most of all remember that there are people who love you and want you around. In the words of the church song, that we used to sing at the end of every sermon: 🎵 You are important to me, I need you to survive. 🎵

Click the links to see more in-depth posts on each subject. And seriously, if you’re feeling depressed, for more than just the one bad day – it’s turning into days, weeks, months and you don’t know how to get out –> Find the best next step for you to get help and help yourself. These things below truly helped me survive!

–> Talking it out in Therapy

I’ll always be an advocate for therapy! I’ve found that I process so much talking it out with my therapist. When I feel like I need an objective view of my thoughts, I schedule my therapy sessions to stay centered.

–> Positive Thinking & Goal Setting

I love looking back at my goals and vision boards years later. It’s like reading a diary of everything I accomplished and all the crazy thoughts I had along the way. When I wrote down my goals I felt like I gave the goals life. I gave myself purpose and something to work towards.

–> Coffee Shops, Meetups, and Hangs Outs

I’ve always known, I needed to hang out with people. I didn’t just want to hang out with people, I needed to engage with people. Feel the energy of others. Laughing and joking with someone else gives me smiles inside. I feel energized by others. Don’t get me wrong, I love my alone time and treasure it. But if I picture my perfect day it will always include, time with my husband and time with my family/friends just laughing and talking all day. You can always find me at a coffee shop, a meetup meeting someone new or hanging out with oldie but good friends. Good people lift my spirit.

–> Antidepressants

I never thought I’d take a happy pill. I must admit I felt ashamed that I needed it. Why do I need help to be happy? But the truth is it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Just like you take Advil for your headache, you can take medicine to ensure you are in the right headspace. If you need help, talk to your doctor and get help. period.

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Liberian and Nigerian Queen. Black, wide-set nose. Love to smile and born to laugh. I'm stew and rice with fried plantains. Freshly baked pound cake, chocolate chip cookies, and vanilla ice cream. I'm the tell you what you need to know because someone has to say it. I'm a black girl trying to find the sweetness in every day and live a balanced life.

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